10 min read

Things are not okay right now. You’re not alone if you’re wondering what to do or what to say. In this article, we offer a step-by-step process to help you ground yourself, communicate with your team, and show up as a manager when things are not okay.

We wrote and published a similar article, following the murder of George Floyd in 2020. Here, we build on that guidance.

Since then, some things have changed for the better. Other things have gotten worse. With the 2024 election and over the last few years, we entered a new era with new challenges drawn from old playbooks. One where:

  • Political violence is mainstream (again)
  • Racialized violence and other forms of oppression have taken center stage from federal elections to school board meetings
  • COVID-19 brought collective grief and trauma to every community—along with fractured responses along party lines
  • We have seen escalating war, disinformation, and climate disasters.

It’s a lot. If you can, try to unclench your jaw, relax your shoulders, and exhale.

Ground Yourself

A note for personally impacted managers: This article focuses on how managers can support staff during times of crisis or uncertainty. If you are personally impacted by the situation, it may feel impossible to implement this right now. That’s okay! Ask for support from your own manager, seek out resources at your organization, and revisit these tips later. Sometimes modeling healthy boundaries and self-care is the best option.

1. Check in with yourself

On flights, the safety instructions say, “Put the oxygen mask on yourself before you help others.” The same applies when responding to a crisis. Before you engage with others, get in touch with how you’re doing. You might ask yourself:

  • How am I feeling? What do I need?
  • How is this showing up in my body?

Identify your own capacity and needs first, so you are better equipped to support your staff and help them feel seen and valued during a difficult time.

2. Ground

It’s really hard to hold space for other people when you’re triggered. If you are personally impacted or feeling activated, ground yourself before you check in with your staff. A few tactics we use:

  • Our CEO, Jakada, leads a breathing practice at the beginning of our staff calls: three deep breaths, each with a slow inhale and an even slower exhale.
  • Several staff use humming (or chanting, singing, or om’ing) to help settle their nervous systems.
  • Many staff turn to movement, like movement meditation, running, and dancing.

Team and group settings 

People process grief and trauma in different ways. We also have different responses and coping mechanisms during crises. Some people need to unplug and rest, some feel moved to take action, and others pour themselves into their work. As a manager, you’ll need to create space for a diversity of experiences, journeys, and responses on your team.

1. Hold your team

In our book, we talk about the concept of “holding your team.”

Holding doesn’t mean always having explanations or a plan—it can simply be about acknowledging what’s happening and letting people be present with it together. Here’s how our CEO Jakada “held” the team during a staff meeting right after the overturn of Roe v. Wade in 2022:

I invite us to breathe together. Put your hand on your abdomen, right on your belly. Breathe in deeply through your nose. Exhale all the way out. In and out.

This moment is a study in contradiction. At this exact moment, I am safe in my home. I am safe in this room, with all of you. 

And, more than ever before, I am at risk. You are at risk.

I’m often reminded that Breonna Taylor was safe in her home, behind a locked door, snuggled in bed, peacefully asleep. I’m aware that even in places we consider sanctuary, we are not always safe. In the churches, the synagogues, and the temples. In the schools and the grocery stores. In the streets and at Pride. And with last Friday’s Supreme Court decision—even inside our own bodies, we are not always safe.

And yet and still, at this moment, as I take this breath, I am safe. Trying to hold both of these things can be exhausting. Trying to stay present with what is—the breath helps us do that sometimes. So I offer that to you, as a way to ground.

— Jakada Imani

2. Hold space, but make it optional

Sometimes, people just need to be with others. Use existing team meeting time or—if it makes sense—set up optional team time to build connections, process what’s happening, or learn together (use your best judgment to decide what your folks need, or ask for people’s preferences).

In these spaces, you might acknowledge what’s happening and its impacts on yourself, your team, and your community members. Keep participation optional—the last thing you want is for people to feel forced into being or bearing witness to vulnerability that might further traumatize them.

Even if you don’t dedicate a full meeting to holding space, you can use a check-in question to acknowledge that things aren’t just business as usual. Try asking, “What do you want everyone else to know about what you need or how you’re showing up today?”

You can also use these opportunities to offer one-on-one time and support to your staff. You might say, “I know X event is having an impact on all of us in different ways. Please know that I’m here to support you, and I plan to raise this in our next check-in.”

One-on-one support

There are concrete, helpful things that managers can do with individual staff during times of crisis. But before you proceed, stop and assess your relationship with the person you want to support. Accepting help when you’re going through a rough time requires trust. If you don’t have a track record of supporting your staff through hard times, they might not accept—much less seek out—your help.

Whatever the case may be, there are some things that you can do to support your staff on an individual level:

1. Be protective of their—or your—labor and energy.

Try using the “4 Ds” of effective time management: “Do, Defer, Delegate, and Drop/Delete.” If you and your staff are weathering a crisis together, think through which of your current big rocks can be “deferred,” “delegated” to someone else, or “dropped” altogether. On the other hand, your team might need to “do” something in response (e.g., if you run a climate justice program and there has been a climate disaster). You can apply this framework with your own workload (consult with your manager!) and the workloads of each of your staff, individually. 

When assessing what your team should “do,” aim for the high-quality “yes,” which is when you can answer affirmatively to these two questions:

  • Can we confidently deliver on this with the time and resources we have available now?
  • Will saying “yes” help us advance our most important work?

When you are assessing what you want to “drop,” talk to your team members about what’s on their plate. Do it for yourself, too. Effective reprioritizing usually means redistributing work, so ask yourself: what can you adjust to lighten the load for your impacted colleagues (or yourself, if you are personally impacted)? Offer to your staff: “Let me know if you need help figuring out a way to defer or drop something on your plate. I’m here for you.”

Be wary about directly impacted staff taking on labor outside of their role expectations. For example, after the murder of George Floyd, many Black staff in multiracial and predominantly white organizations suddenly found themselves tapped to solve their organization’s DEI problems or educate non-Black staff on allyship. While some directly impacted staff may want to contribute in that way, make sure that it’s their choice and that it’s accounted for in their workload.

2. Ask what people need and share options

What people need can change from day to day and person to person. Ask often and through multiple channels, like via check-ins, chat, or email. Here’s what you can say:

  • “What can I do to support you? Is there anything you need that I can help with?” 
  • “Some options are [taking the rest of the week off / canceling non-essential meetings / leaving work early]. Would any of these be helpful to you?”
  • “Remember that we have [an Employee Assistance Program / wellness policy / time-off policy] that you can use. Let me know if you need me to send you those resources.”
  • “Would it be helpful just to vent or share what’s on your mind with me? I’m happy to just listen.”

Be mindful of your own capacity when you decide what to offer. If you are personally impacted by the crisis, for example, you might not have the capacity to support a staff member through a vent session (and that’s okay!).

3. Give time off—or repurpose existing events and meetings

While some people may turn to work as a coping mechanism, most people would probably benefit from space and rest. 

  • Consider giving time off across the board—something that your impacted staff members don’t need to opt into or request as an accommodation. 
  • Repurpose existing events or meetings. While you might not be able to shut down the office for a week, you might consider repurposing a half-day staff meeting into a half-day mental health day.

That second one is a real example from TMC. Here’s a template version of the email our People Operations team sent out to announce it.

Moving forward 

When a crisis hits, our immediate and short-term responses as leaders and managers are incredibly important. But what we do in the medium and longterm to support our staff and build individual and team resilience also matters. Here are some things that you can do once the dust has settled:

1. Pause and reflect

Take time to reflect on lessons learned. Here are some questions to get you started:

  • What are 1-2 things I did well to support my staff?
  • What are 1-2 things I could have done better or differently to support my staff?

If it’s within your sphere of control to make changes to systems or policies, consider these questions:

  • Were there any accommodations provided to (some or all) staff that could become policy changes or benefits moving forward?
  • Are there any systems or processes you could implement now to prepare yourself and your team for future crises? (See our backup planning tips for help on this!)

2. Ask for feedback

Model growth and accountability by asking your staff for feedback. If you’re a middle manager, share this feedback with your manager. Communicating feedback from your staff to leadership is one way that middle managers can help the organization drive toward real change. You can ask: 

  • To what extent did you feel supported by the organization during this moment? 
  • What would have made you feel more supported? What would you have liked for us to do differently? 
  • Was there anything that felt particularly supportive or helpful?

3. Invest in meaningful connections

Connection and trust are instrumental in helping teams weather crises and uncertainty, and it’s never too late to invest in relationships. Think about ways to build trust, foster authenticity, and keep yourself and your team grounded in your shared purpose, while keeping in mind power and difference. Double down on strengthening relationships with the folks you manage.

For senior managers, this can also look like finding time to connect with staff you don’t directly supervise a few times a year. These are also known as skip-level meetings. 

Lastly, remember that management is a practice! You won’t be perfect and you will make mistakes. Keep trying, learning, and getting better over time.

Resource Metadata